The Sacred has its own place within the secular world. Anam Cara is an ancient and beloved practice, from the very heart of Celtic monastic life. It has traveled thru the mists of time where it continues to live among us today. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul, Cara the word for friend.
Soul friend, wherein we enter and become a part of the Divine amidst the every day.
Within the Celtic Church, the Anam Cara was someone who took on the role of teacher, a confessor or spiritual guide. Your deepest thoughts, most intimate feelings… fears, hopes and desires, could be safely shared and expressed.
There was no judgement or condemnation. You were accepted – and loved – for who and what you were, and are. The Anam Cara was the Other who always, and without fail, wished and advised that which was good for you, irrespective of their own feelings or inclinations. And this was a precious gift. Together you became enjoined in an ancient and eternal way with this ‘friend of your soul.’
Within such a relationship there was no ego, for love is the predominating factor here. You can feel safe to expose and express your true self, assured that you are completely understood. The Bible says that ‘God knows your heart’… both the good and the bad. Well so does your Anam Cara. And they love you just the same!
This acceptance and understanding runs deep. To be fully known, and still be accepted and loved, nourishes a sense of belonging. And where you belong, you feel at home. In this crazy, upside-down world, to feel at home is to feel secure. This is something we very much need in these troubled days.
When you’ve momentarily lost your way and can’t see the forest for the trees… your Anam Cara, who is able to see the larger picture of your life, can steer you in the right direction. And you can trust that it is the proper road to take; where it is you are supposed to go, or be
When circumstance overwhelms your thoughts and emotions to where all objectivity is lost… the Anam Cara helps to unsnarl the stormy tangles and knots in your head. And slowly the clouds fade to where you can see a bright ray of sunshine, that otherwise would have remained hidden
Who knows how long you would have struggled without the Other’s perspective… without that trusted love and support.
During difficult and confusing times, the Anam Cara carries you in heartfelt prayer. For the power inherent in prayer can see you through whatever crisis presents, to a better and more peaceful day. One where the Other awaits you with joy, aware of the courage it cost you to fight through, and still triumph.
The Anam Cara, knowing your deepest desires, can offer encouragement. Helping you find the motivation needed to open that door to new possibilities. Opportunities you otherwise would hesitate to seek on your own.
For your Anam Cara believes in you, even when for whatever reason, you cannot believe in yourself.
This soul-friend relationship is not something you go out seeking or looking for. It comes to you in the right time and with the right person. Often developing without our even being aware of it in the first place. Opening yourself up – letting someone into the temple of your soul – develops gradually. Trust is not instantaneous. It comes about slowly, with time and experience.
Friendship, and the sharing of circumstances back and forth with each other, creates a bond. One which is celebrated during good times and tidings of joy. However, it is strengthened and honed during the difficult days. Days when you really need to lean on someone.
During those times, when feeling lost and alone, the Anam Cara aspect shines forth and you come to realize what a gift has been given you. For with this Other you feel safe and at home. You know where you belong and are thus grounded. And that is something we all need amid this constantly changing world with lies and half-truths swirling endlessly around.
The Anam Cara relationship is that safe harbour… providing a beacon to help you navigate your way when the waters run high and rough. You feel assured that you can indeed ride the waves til the storm passes, and calmer times prevail.
And through it all, your Anam Cara will be there, holding your hand and riding it out along beside you. What more can we ask than that?
Does the Anam Cara have all the answers we are looking for? Or solve whatever problems are present in our lives? No, of course not. No one can provide that for us. However, the Other can share in how we feel; offering a sense of comfort, a measure of reassurance. And sometimes, just knowing that we are not alone is enough to bring ease to a given situation.
This type of relationship creates a powerful bond, one which does not recognize either time or distance. For it is a friendship grounded in the Divine.
And friendship is the essence of God. In John 15:15, Jesus tells his disciples, “Behold, I call you friends.” He is the true Anam Cara, from which this gift sprang and evolved over time.
Here we see the strong Trinitarian nature that defines and moulds the Celtic spiritual life. Practiced with a true devoutness in the long-ago monastic communities, it continues to bless us today with a sense of being and belonging. Helping to provide a home, wherein we can be at peace with ourselves… just as we are!
The Sacred Three,
My fortress be.
Encircling me,
Come and be round
My heart and home.
(Alistair MacLean- Hebridean Altars)
To Nancy S. with gratitude;
For 30+ years exemplifying all that is Anam Cara.