The month of November… and winter is settling on the horizon. In some ways it’s the calm before the storm – no pun intended. Not only weather-wise with the attending cold and snow that marks the season here in New England. But also, of the hectic holiday time which now looms large before us
Shortly before Thanksgiving – we awake from a certain benign complacency to realize that once again the Holiday Season is upon us. Under the age of twelve, this is cause for great joy. Once into adulthood however, it becomes a source of stress and anxiety. And so, some of the brightness… some of the true meaning that should be there, dims and loses its shine.
Menus are planned, schedules juggled, errands multiply, expenses rise, emotions intensify, etc., until a certain exhaustion sets in. This is not what is generally thought of as a holiday; a relaxing time-out from the mundane tasks and responsibilities of everyday life. There is definitely a disconnect here somewhere between ‘The Holidays’ and a holiday. Can you see it?
Images abound of the ideal family sitting around a lace-covered table, hands clasped in peace and love. A golden turkey lies steaming on a platter, amidst sparkling china and crystal. Flickering candlelight shows a smile on every face. And every year, we buy into it, striving to play this scene to its fullest.
Towards that end, we push and strain to fit ourselves, and our family/friends, into a pre-subscribed mold of what Thanksgiving is ‘supposed’ to be. It does make for a lovely picture. However, that’s all it is – a picture, flat and one-dimensional.
Real life is just not that simplistic – would that it could be. Family relationships are complicated… the economy a serious concern. Sorrow and illness do not take a time-off. And the reality that is Covid, along with supply issues also have to factor. Even pre-Covid the holidays could be a challenge. All of which have to be taken into account, and yet are often over-looked in the overall scheme. Thrown into the mix with the ‘ideal’ it can be confusing, and we are left feeling conflicted at times.
Rather than shining in its own light, Thanksgiving seems to fall more under the umbrella of Black Friday or Cyber Monday. Lost as a day of rest; an opportunity to take stock and be grateful. Once upon a time, it was a ‘Holiday’ in and of itself. A time for celebration and the actual giving of thanks, not the start of the Christmas shopping season.
So, what is a Holiday exactly? Well according to the Oxford English Dictionary, it’s a derivative of the word hāligdæg. Hālig meaning “holy” and dæg meaning “day”. A time set apart, away from work and labour. A day of rest and contemplation… generally consecrated to religious observance. Though the latter is optional. The original intent… the true meaning, has been lost sight of in the mists of time.
It’s not about increased stress or anxiety to perform and get ‘things’ done. That’s something we bring on ourselves trying to meet an ideal which doesn’t exist, except in mind, media, or commercial venture. Neither is it about the ‘perfect’ celebration, especially when characterized by some advertiser with a financial stake in the matter. Perfection belongs to God. He doesn’t expect it from us, why should we? What works best and feels right for ourselves, for our families and individual circumstance is just fine. We define the celebration, not vice-versa.
Holidays, or holy days if you will, are meant to be beyond the display and trappings of material worth, hectic travel plans, shopping deals, and assorted extravaganzas. The original intent of the day as one of rest, contemplation, and the offering of thanks has been lost sight of for so very long. And in many ways, we are the poorer for that.
I am reminded of a sermon by pastor/theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer entitled, God’s Loving Care and Human Suffering, in which he states…
“Possessions are not God’s blessings and goodness,
but opportunities of service which God entrusts to us.”
What Bonhoeffer would have us better understand is, that which we hold in our hands is not ours by virtue of reward or merit. But rather is provided us as an opportunity to serve others, even as we ourselves have been served.
In their simplest, most basic form, Holidays –Holy Days– are about opening our hearts… to God’s love and to each other. A time of rest, stepping away from the hectic and mundane routine of the everyday. They are about seeking His Light to illuminate our way; the better to acknowledge all the truths of life – the joys and the sorrows.
Amidst the fellowship of family and friends, we take stock of the many blessings bestowed… and by thought, action, or deed… return to Him a portion; in care, concern, and recognition of those who are also His children.
May you be blessed with many ‘opportunities’ this Thanksgiving…
And know a measure of contentment in your heart