Life has many lessons to teach us. Some are easy and passed with flying colours. Others are far more difficult, and it’s a struggle to maintain our equilibrium. As we will have learned by now, nothing can throw us off balance more than loss and the need to let go. Whether it be of circumstance, or something of a more personal nature. It is probably the hardest thing we will ever learn to do. And it hurts.
Life is dynamic, always in motion. It moves ever forward, occasionally setting a pace beyond our comfort. But nevertheless, we continue onward wherever the road may lead. Sometimes this means walking a path not of our choosing, which takes both courage and strength to navigate.
Events don’t always conform to how we plan or expect. We get thrown a curveball…or two. This happens many times over the years, and experience teaches us how to catch and deal with the unexpected. A challenge to be sure, nevertheless we adapt and carry on. And in so doing, learn more about ourselves.
Recognizing and becoming familiar with those strengths inherent in our personalities, which serve us well in difficult situations. Also revealed are the soft spots, where we are weak and unsure. Knowing this is instructive; allowing us to either build up, or otherwise compensate for what is lacking. Thereby ensuring a layer of protection from adversities to come.
Contrary to popular belief, Darwin did not say “survival of the fittest.” Rather he noted it was those who could ‘adapt’ that had the greatest chance of survival. A big difference here. And we can be very adaptable when the need calls for, far more than initially realized.
Never is this more true than when serious health issues must be faced and dealt with. Not a road any of us would choose to walk, but one which can unexpectedly arise and demand we follow. The choice not being of our making, culminates in a loss which must be accepted.
For that is the only way to move forward. And so, we adapt in order to continue the journey onward. Feeling grateful there is yet another road to walk, despite an unwelcome diagnosis. Loss is not just about the people in our lives, but also a part of ourselves which sometimes must be let go of.
This is an instance whereby scholar/writer Joseph Campbell states… “we must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Even if that life is very different from what we originally had in mind and/or hoped for.
There is another road waiting ahead for our footsteps to follow, though we may not yet clearly discern the way at present. And so… we let go of what once was, and move onward to something other than what we have heretofore known.
Not only circumstance and events; but people as well, who walk in and out of our lives. Some are friends who remain with us life-long. Others play a more temporal role. There is a reason for their presence with us, and when that purpose is served, time calls them elsewhere.
So we must let them go, for they have a different road to walk. And it not for us to say or determine otherwise. Either way, we are all the more blessed for having had them in our lives, for however long or short that might be.
The coming and going, the cycling of events and people which make up our lives dictates a steady stream of motion. It means welcoming what is in the present, and letting go of that which is past.
Yet, sometimes the who and what of the past is so precious, that it’s hard to let go because we do not want to forget. And forgetting means losing that which we don’t want to let go of.
So, we hold fast to the memory of their presence with us. When the ups and downs of the road walked were shared together. When the light of their company could chase away the shadows of worry, and the mere touch of their hand offer a reassuring comfort. They were our rock and anchor whenever the storm clouds threatened. How do you let go of someone so vital to your well-being and walk on without them?
Life dictates that we move on, like it or no. But how do you do this when left on your own, alone?
Sometimes letting go is just not possible. And a way must be found to continue carrying them with us, even if they are no longer in this present moment.
Poet e.e. cummings says it best….
i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life:
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
***
To the memory of
Bill Arbuckle 8/07… Tommy Wainwright 8/11… Jim McHugh 8/26
Loved and missed.
